blue

There have only been two times when I've seen the sky turn to this deep blue - a midnight blue that seemed to glow - while standing next to my cousin, with whom I've started this blog, the blue illuminating a Western sky. I've never seen it out here in the East, maybe becaues I'd miss it on coincidence, heading inside just before the Earth turned and the lingering rays of light hit the atmosphere to create that specific shade. Or maybe I would deliberately ignore that blue, my blue, because I was home sick and determined to look for any reason to hate the Great Lakes region more than I already did.

A few days ago, after writing a particularly horrible midterm, I looked up at the sky as I speed-walked home. It was cold in that "shit-can't-feel-my-fingers" cold, the bitter air seeping into your doubled-gloved hand, but I looked up. I happened to be in the older and more architecturally beautiful part of campus when my eyes caught the angle of a hundred and ten year old building and the sky above. For the first time since moving to this part of the country, I saw that piece of blue again.

Memories rushed back to when I had notebooks, napkins, and lecture notes with words dotted in the margins stashed under my bed. Words came easy to me then - ironically a lot easier than now as my writing is expected to impeccable.

Grammatically correct. Concise.

I've forgotten how The Bell Jar made me feel like I was trapped in this depressed bubble for weeks. How, within the span of a year, Shakespeare turned quickly from an annoyance to a goddamn genius. How I aspired to write a supernatural story grounded in mythology of a foreign country like in Tamsin. And how I felt that the magic in Garth Nix's Sabriel was far superior to dear Harry's swishes and flicks.

It was only a patch of blue, and it only lasted for a few seconds before fading away. The point, I guess, is that I missed it. I feel like I've been inundated in academia and journal articles to the point where I'm trying really hard not to change the previous sentence because it ends with a preposition.

I just hope these ramblings and fictitious posts don't result in failure and that I can finally stick to this, unlike that damn blue sky. Even then, I'd still go back to it.

Yes, it.